“I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.” ~Abraham Lincoln
This morning we were hustling out the door. We weren’t late (bonus!) and we weren’t hurrying, but we were moving. I saw my husband come outside in his pj’s as we were getting into the car. “What’s he doing?” I thought. Then I remembered: we hadn’t done our meditation/prayer ritual and he was coming out to the car to make it happen.
We got into our seats. Brian got into the passenger seat and we turned around to face our kiddos. I felt myself exhale and slow down. I heard it — the precious silence that a soul needs in a hectic world. I could honestly feel my children’s heart rate begin to slow down.
That’s what our prayer was this morning.
But it was a beautiful two minutes. I’m not kidding. Everyone chilled out. We were quiet for 30 seconds of that 2 minutes! I held my husband’s hand for two minutes! Two minutes!!! We all blessed each other. And the whole tone of the car ride to school was calm.
And I was so grateful to Brian for remembering before I started driving down the street and remembered at the stoplight!
This little moment — this everyday ritual of pausing and connecting that is so nourishing. And it’s so much more than just “two minutes.”
Think about it. Even if we – you and your family, me and my family – did this for two minutes every day, every single day, for 12 years of school, think how many minutes that is of our children learning to pause and give themselves permission to pause in a hectic and harsh world! Someone do the math for me! That’s enough to build a habit for a lifetime.
I’ve been hearing from my clients, customers and fellow “moms in the trenches” how September is a tricky month. For many of us with children, we’ve started back up with the academic year routine. School is in session, after-school activities are winding up, and homework is starting again. And that might mean anxiety amping up again.
Our children are encountering new expectations and new social situations (and pressures) as they are a year older. And even though we are several weeks into the new school year, many of us (our children included) may still feel like we’re not “in our groove” — the new routine isn’t “in our system” yet and it’s all still new.
Our emotions as parents may be high(er) as we see how our children are doing starting kindergarten or navigating the transition into middle school or high school. Some children may be starting back up on their medication they take for being focused at school; some children may be meeting a whole new expectation of homework and even getting to class on time in the allotted time between classes; and some children may be stressed about who to even sit with at lunch.
We may want to get a handle on our schedules. Maybe we’ve made promises or “new year” goals for ourselves and our families. We want that control. We want some organization. And none of that is “bad.” It’s just that often in all this there is a lot of striving. Efforting. And this exhausts us. We want control OVER the chaos.
That’s a lot, isn’t it? That’s a lot on our nervous systems, our senses. It’s a lot on our children.
A few years ago, I designed a family prayer/meditation for connecting in the morning — for starting our morning off with “nourishing connection” and instilling in my children a sense of “coming into stillness” and “returning Home” to self. Over the years, we have refined it and shifted it, based on our family’s ever-changing needs. But what has remained a constant is this:
connecting with each other in the morning through stillness, togetherness, and prayer/meditation.
Even if we have mornings like today where we are hustling out the door (especially mornings like today!) and Brian followed us into the car so we wouldn’t miss our morning ritual. We do it. EVERY single day.
Even if it’s not “perfect” or we wish we were doing more, we do it. THIS IS ENOUGH, I tell myself.
It’s a Sacred Pause that has become our foundation for how we start our day and how we go about our day. It helps us to recenter, reconnect, and go into our day feeling more resourced and connected. And I am hoping that as we do this over the years, our children will have an experience of pausing and centering IN THEIR BODIES that they carry with them into adulthood that will serve them well in a chaotic and often harsh world.
Yes, experiences of pausing and connecting, being nourished and centered IN EVERYDAY WAYS, every day, over time….think what this does for a family connecting around the Sacred and for our children developing that skill of pausing!
Less efforting – more connection.
Think about this for you and your own family — what would it be like to connect every morning for just a brief but nourishing moment, intentionally, prayerfully/meditatively?
What if you did this every day over the course of your children’s lives?
I imagine this bringing you all together as a family – nourishing your connection. I imagine your children having this SKILL and EXPERIENCE of learning to pause IN THEIR BONES…that they carry with them into adulthood.
2. Develop your family’s own Morning Prayer/Meditation Ritual. Since I first talked about this years ago, I’ve had several people who have come to me for an Ask Lisa Consult to support them in designing their own personal Family Prayer/Meditation Ritual. If this is of interest to you, please check out my Ask Lisa Consult offering.. We practice KISS – Keep It Simple Sweetheart — while weaving in YOUR family’s spiritual or cultural tradition. We create a nourishing and simple ritual for your family given the reality of this season in your family’s life.
This September, cultivate a ritual of pausing and connecting. Don’t focus on the AMOUNT of time — focus on just DOING IT. Every day. Even if you have to run to the bus stop or to the car in your jammies!
I hope this September you create an opportunity for pausing. If I may support you and your family, please reach out and schedule an Ask Lisa Consult. Developing a Family Prayer/Meditation Ritual often just needs one Ask Lisa Consult. If you’d like to “go deeper” — if there is something pulling on your lifeforce energy this fall, consider Compassion Coaching. I have three spots open for the fall. I’d love to hold space for you listening within and honoring what is most sacred to you.Blessings,