There’s nothing wrong with self-improvement. We want to be more patient with our family. We want to improve our running time. We want to improve our writing, speaking, painting, or cooking skills.
But what I notice in me and I hear in the narrative that so many share with me in psychotherapy and coaching is that a self improvement can easily slip into self-hate. The voice of the Inner Critic gets louder as it takes over the wheel and drives our behavior and thoughts like a harsh master whipping the horses of our efforts to go faster, to try harder, to look and see how we are failing, and to compare ourselves with others.
I’ll be honest, that’s hard for me. I am driven and I’m ambitious. But that drive and ambition can become unhealthy when the Inner Critic is the “motivator.”
I don’t think we ever need that kind of “motivation.” But especially now in the middle of a global pandemic and all that is going on in our individual and collective worlds, our nervous systems are taxed.
We don’t need to whip ourselves into shape.
We need to love ourselves where we are.
We need EXPERIENCES that nourish our nervous systems and kindle our light. We need EXPERIENCES that nurture our self-love.
We need to treat ourselves like a wise grandmother would – with spaciousness, time, understanding, and a keen eye for what our bodies need and our intuition is calling us to.
Can we let ourselves practice this and not go for perfection? Can we practice self-love in the moments when the Inner Critic wants to pull us into the vortex of shame and critique? These micro shifts of present-moment practice create a new experience for our nervous system – one of “connection and care,” “soften and soothe,” and “tend and befriend.”
This Monday, I will be starting with a group of soulful women who want to explore experiences of self-love. It’s called Soul Fuel.
This is not a self improvement course. This is a self-love exploration. This is a deepening practice of self-honoring and self-love. It’s a practice in coming home to ourselves.
In Soul Fuel, there is no falling behind. There is no “doing this perfectly.” There is no “have to” or “should.” For some people, this hard to conceive. But the foundational intention and offering of Soul Fuel come from a deep divine knowing within me that it’s absolutely necessary right now to drop our “self improvement projects” and mindset and rather drop into EXPERIENCES.
If this sounds like what you need right now, please come join me for SOUL FUEL. This will be a five month EXPERIENCE that is about sacred feminine embodiment practices that are like “coming home” for your soul.
Registration ends this Thursday night.
I only have a few spots left.
I’d love to see you on the inside of Soul Fuel.
And whether you join Soul Fuel or not, considering making this fall less about self-improvement and more about self-love. Experience the practice of loving yourself every day in little and big ways.
You matter. You have a light to shine. You are loved.