When the Clouds Roll In
When the clouds roll in
and it is hard to see
there is indeed a sun there
above the clouds
ready to warm you,
there is indeed an earth there
ready to ground you.
And just because you can’t
see clearly in this moment,
doesn’t mean you are lost,
alone, or going the
Maybe pause for a moment.
Find your feet.
Imagine the sun you know
so well shining in you.
Let yourself be still for
a little while.
The fog will lift.
The clouds will roll
away and part for the
magnificent sun to
shine upon you again.
Lisa McCrohan © 2022
I had planned to take a few weeks of from work in July. On July 1st, I declared that my practice this month would be “daily delight” – noticing and savoring little moments of delight to nourish my nervous system and bring me back into connection with my own body and the Universe.
The Daily Delight Practice is a practice that often share with my coaching clients. It is a way of orienting our attention. It gives our nervous systems a respite from being in chronic stress mode. It reminds us to be right here and there is goodness here for our nourishment. It brings us back into a sense of safety, connection, and agency – which are the foundation for dealing with stress and anxiety. Daily Delight s a beautiful practice!
Practicing Daily Delight was easy the first day. I went around my backyard, picked some of the flowers growing there, and put them in vases around our house. I was so happy!
It was easy the second day. We had a group of good buddies over here the whole day for some soulful and spiritual reflection. And then we watched our town’s fireworks right from our backyard.
Then the month started going to hell in a hand basket.
My dad was here helping us take down my daughter’s loft that he built (made with reclaimed wood from my old college loft that my dad had built a long time ago!) and…he separated his shoulder! Then, I had a tooth issue that I am still dealing with that required a few visits to the dentist and a specialist, some antibiotics, and a possible plan. Then next up…we got COVID.
And I am siiiiick.
That’s when the “thought demons” started to come for a visit. They visit when I’m lying down and trying to rest. They visit when I look in the mirror at my “oh you are sick, girl” reflection.
Here are some of the things my “thought demons” have said:
What if you never get better?
What if things never change?
What if you go nowhere in life?
What have you really accomplished in life?
You aren’t doing “x” right.
You haven’t been able to do “x” – there must be something wrong with you.
You aren’t doing enough.
Look at everyone else enjoying their life while you spend too much time just watching what others are our DOING.
Your poetry will never go anywhere. It’s just not in the cards for you.
You are wasting time.
It’s like that – we get quiet or we are at a low point, and those tricky thought demons start circling you.
Maybe some of these “thought demons” visit you, too. Maybe you have different ones.
I’m still too in the thick of COVID to write out lots of advice on how to deal with these thought demons. My energy is too low. But I will share one idea that is getting me through this – in a minute. But I am writing because it soothes my nervous system to organize a few thoughts and imagine us connecting – albeit even through a post like this. It feels soothing to put something good out into the Universe.
I am also writing because maybe you, too, have “thought demons” visiting you from time to time, and I wanted to say: You are not alone.
You are not alone.
There’s nothing wrong with you.
These “thought demons” just circle around waiting for an opportunity to mess with you. They especially like to surprise you. They love getting you when you are down, too.
Maybe you are sick in bed, too.
Maybe you started off July with a positive outlook and plan, too, and then – bam! Shit happened.
Maybe you are feeling burnt out from the last few years.
Maybe you are reading this late at night and those “thoughts demons” are starting to circle pretty intensely.
Maybe you are going through a big transaction but it’s just not clear yet what road to take and you doubt yourself.
Maybe you know what you want but you are afraid to go for it.
Whatever you are experiencing, you aren’t alone. And there’s nothing wrong with you. There’s everything gorgeous and lovely about you. Yes, you. Yes, me, too! That’s not some pollyannish bullshit.
As I lay here, I had this thought: we have “thought ANGELS,” too.
Our “thought angels” are always here, too, circling us and wanting to protect us and remind us of our inherent beauty and our innate goodness.
Our “thought angels” say things like:
Go for it!
You really can do this!
What if things DO get better? Imagine that!
Every moment is a new opportunity to make a choice.
Look at how far you’ve come!
I’m with you. You aren’t alone.
Let’s go for a walk and clear your head.
Let’s be gentle with yourself.
You are doing more than enough.
It’s okay to rest.
You are precious.
Your worth isn’t based on what you produce.
You are good.
You are loved.
“Thought demons” and “thought angels.” I know I am way over simplifying things here. But today, as I have so little energy to spare, I like this over-simplification!
My “thought angel” even talks to the “thought demons.” She says stuff like:
Yeah, you’ve been hurt before.
Yeah, you are just trying to protect Lisa.
Yeah, you are scared.
She sees. She validates. She meets the “thought demon” where it is.
And then she says: “AND Lisa and I are just going to go on with our day and our life. You can come along and play nice and rest or you can get lost. Your choice. But we aren’t listening to this bullshit anymore.”
AND is one of my favorite three letter words. I teach it to all my coaching clients.
The “thought demons” may not go away just by using the word “AND.” But our “thought angels” and us will have some more distance from those “thought demons.” That means you and I will be less persuaded and overtaken by our “thought demons.” That means more room for the light to shine through us.
More room for us to to see our goodness. More room for us to “take in the good.” More room for us to “just do the next right thing,” as my mom always says.
And as these thought demons circle up and bug me, my “thought angel” and I are carrying on with my day. Lots of sleeping. Lots of resting. Lots of self-love EVEN WHILE the “thought demons” circle.
AND…(and this might be the most important thing): my “thought angel” nudges, “Go ahead and reach out. Reply to your neighbor asking if she can drop off soup for you. Say yes to your friend who will pick up lunch for your kiddos. Give your friend your grocery shopping list and let her shop for you. Let love and help in!”
Yes, so when we listen to our thought angels, we welcome in the human angels around us, too. We let ourselves be vulnerable and say, “Yes, I could use your help” and “Wow, thank you for the offer. I’ll take you up on that.”
I just wanted to share this with you. I hope it makes sense. I hope it nourishes you, too.
Listen to your “thought angel.”
You aren’t alone.
You are loved.
Thank you for being you.
Dear Readers, I’ll be back to creating new episodes for my podcast, Delightful, in August! I was planning to do a few episodes in July during my time off from seeing clients. But I don’t know if that is going to happen while I am resting and recouping (I am trying to practice what I preach!) This can be a great time to go back through and listen to any episodes you might have missed AND to sign up for my Delightful Divas to get free extras.
Coaching: I will open consults up again in August. If you have wanted to work together in coaching, grab a free 20 minute consult!Blessings,
I see it. I feel it. I send its rays on to you. Thanks, Lisa, for your encouragement.
THANK YOU, Jan!
Lisa, for someone going through what you are going through you still have a way with words that expresses your spiritual beauty and brings joy and wonder to those who read them! Be well soon! You are in my prayers!
Thank you for the line, “Maybe you are feeling burnt out from the last few years”. That so resonated with me and was exactly what I needed to read tonight!
It HAS been a rough few years and even though I have the summer off (I’m a teacher), I don’t seem to have tons of energy to get things done. Today I decided I would try to just “be” and not “do” as the world tells me I should.
Probably similar to how you are feeling as your body recovers from Covid. Wishing you lots of soup and favours from friends. If I lived closer I’d definitely drop off something yummy to eat (but I’m in Canada!)
Thanks, as always, Lisa for buoying me up when I needed it.
Oh my gosh, bless you for being a teacher. Honestly. I can’t thank you enough. Thank you for your devotion to your students. Truly YOU are so needed and your work is THE most important for our future generations. Thank you for your well wishes. I am recouping. I really appreciate your kind words! Lisa
Take care of yourself . Remember your words “You belong. You matter. You are loved.”
Thanks for sharing your demons and angels .
Feel better soon and rest in the knowledge that you are loved!! This was a great read and as I do with everything you write, I relate.