{Today’s Gem: Dropping Perfection”}

When I woke up this morning, I instantly became a bit anxious. It’s Monday morning! Everyone is going back to school and work, the week starts, and this week, in particular, is a full one for us. And then the thought came to me: “Lisa, can you allow yourself and other to be imperfect today? This week? “

I thought about the 29 Day Compassion Meditation Challenge that I’m facilitating and wrapping up this week. I thought about the workshop I’ll be facilitating at Georgetown University on Wednesday. I thought about my daughter’s birthday celebration this week. I thought about the sick friend I’m visiting today. I thought about allllllllll. the. stuff. that Brian is dealing with, my son is holding, my daughter is working through, friends are dealing with, clients are holding…(this happens to you, right?!) And I see how RESPONSIBLE I feel for everyone. This is a default mode that I have.

I want my presence to be “perfect.”

I want my “holding” to and “tending to” to be perfect.

I want to “do the right thing.”

Of course I don’t use that language! That would sound nuts! (LOL). But perfection weaves its way into our nervous system. It causes anxiety.

Dropping imperfection.

It sounds great. It sounds rational. It sounds like it would create a lot of ease (and long exhales!) and bring sweetness to our relationships. So why do we cling to perfection – in subtle and obvious ways in our day?

The desire for control, the fear feeding that desire for control, haven’t been healed.

We haven’t paused long enough and often enough in our “doing” to tend to the fear that lies beneath the striving for perfection.

The fear is still there. It keeps calling to us NOT to make our heads and live nuts! But because it wants to be tended to. It wants our attention to be held, to be healed.

So today, I am going to sit awhile before the sun comes up, before my dear ones rise, before the day’s activities begin. And I’m going to be sit with that fear, to offer her kindness, to extend sweetness to her and let her know that it is ok, and everything is perfect – I AM perfect – just as it is.


So today, can you:

NOTICE when this desire for perfection creeps up into your nervous system and day?

LOOK DEEPLY into this desire and see the fear?

TEND TO the fear that is there with kindness and compassion?

This is how we can heal our relationships — with our own selves, with our children, with our spouse, with our world…dropping the expectation of perfection and putting energy instead into going “inward” and tending to the fear.

* Check out Compassion Coaching to resource and nourish you in your everyday life.  Find guided meditations in my shop that support a sense of calm in your day.


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