It was a little, “nothing out of the ordinary” moment the other night. My husband had just left for a meeting. My daughter was over a neighbor’s house and I was taking our son to practice. We were getting into the car when I saw that our neighbor was calling. I answered the phone and she told me that my daughter wanted to talk to me. Almost undetected, I felt my body make micro movements to brace myself, “What did she need? Was something wrong?” I thought, almost subconsciously.
She got on the phone and in her sweet six year old voice, she said, “Mommy, did you leave yet? Can I come and get something from the house to bring here?”
We were going to be late if I say “yes.” I wanted to say “no” and that we were headed out. Running late and the micro movements contracting my body were sending me into a “low grade stress mode” which often makes us fixated on things going OUR way as we “lock down” and justify our position.
But Something within me said to say, “Sure.”
So within two seconds, she and her friend came running out of the neighbor’s house, laughing and running. I opened the door for them. “What are you getting?” I asked, slowing down my breath, surrendering to this moment.
“Legos!” They replied, laughing, filled with delight, listing out the dragon and other sets they needed to get.
Running back down the stairs, my daughter quickly turned to me and said, “Thanks, mom!” And then bolted past me, running down the sidewalk, back to her friend’s house.
I stood there watching her. It was an ordinary moment. Nothing “special.” But the feeling that flooded me was Holy. As I watched her running down the sidewalk, laughing, carrying her Lego dragon, watching her growing but still little six-year old body running barefoot, I heard from within me, “This whole experience of being alive is a privilege. It’s a privilege to just be alive – to be incarnate and to GET the opportunity to BE HERE, on this earth. How extraordinary.”
I got back into the car. “Ready to go, mom?” My son asked. I looked at him through the rearview mirror. “Yes, let’s go, Love.” He looked back down and started reading the book he brought with him.
“I get to be their mother!” I thought, “I get to be alive and be right here.”
I softened. My heart expanded, taking in the privilege it is to be here – exactly as it is, in this brief yet beautiful life.
“The further I wake into this life, the more I realize that God is everywhere and the extraordinary is waiting quietly beneath the skin of all that is ordinary. Light is in both the broken bottle and the diamond, and music is in both the flowing violin and the water dripping from the drainage pipe. Yes, God is under the porch as well as on top of the mountain, and joy is in both the front row and the bleachers, if we are willing to be where we are.”
― Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening
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Dear Readers, Clients, and Colleagues: We GET the opportunity to be here! We GET to be embodied and alive, experiencing all that Life is. Just reflect on this for a moment. What if we saw being alive as a privilege?
Our time here is so temporary, so impermanent.
I’ve often thought about this: What if we were angels before we were born and we had to wait thousands of years (or even centuries) to be born into human form? Imagine if we waited and waited and waited, with eager anticipation to be born? Imagine if being born into human form was seen as something absolutely amazing and desired and yearned for in our angelic form? What if we “woke up” each day as angels, asking, “Is today the day?!” – for thousands of years?
Would we view things in our everyday lives – like even working, taking the kiddos to practice, making dinner — as drudgery?
Or would we delight in the simplest of things — mud between our toes,
Maybe we can’t go around every single moment delighting in every single morsel of being human as if we were angels (or can we?!). But seeing “being alive” as a privilege can influence the posture we take — the lens we look through — as we go about our day in the holy ordinariness of our lives. May such a posture influence how you walk, talk, touch, move, engage, breathe, and love today.
“The invitation of meditation {and of life} is to come into harmony with this mysterious life of the ten thousand joys and sorrows…. There’s praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and pain, birth and death…and somehow to find in the rhythm of this life a way of living that is present and compassion and in harmony.”
– Jack Kornfield
This is exquisite and exactly what I needed to read on the eve of my birthday. I have been struggling with the slog of parenting and homeschooling 3 children I dreamt of having since I was little. I am blessed, yes, but somedays are SO HARD to get through. I have often thought MY CHILDREN were angels waiting to come here, but I never thought of MYSELF as an angel that waited to arrive here. I love this. And I love the total surrender into the moment of your daughter getting her dragon. Thank you.
home school three kids? you’re STILL an angel! wow, that takes so much dedication and patience! I’m in awe!
Dear Becky,
What a very sweet and kind thing to say!
April
What an awesome story, Lisa. Thank you for sharing and reminding me to always stop and breathe, totally let life in, and live in gratitude. Life is so wonderful when we remember to go slow and let it unfold in its own time. As always, you inspire me.
I have told both my kids that I’ve always been their mom and they waited in Heaven until God put them in my belly when we prayed to have children. (Obviously birds and bees talk hasn’t happened yet! Ha!). I believe it. Our souls are interconnected long before and after human form. I’ve always loved “we are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spirits having a human experience.” Once I got pregnant with both kids, it was like I’d been waiting for them, I knew them and when they were born, it was like all was right. I feel even more grateful to be a mom lately because I’m THEIR mom. And to them, I am enough. In fact, I hear “you care too much” all the time. But I just burst with love. Even with the bickering, taking forever to get shoes on, asking them to wash hands a gazillion times AND telling them enough iPad time, I just love being THEIR mom. So, yes, taking a step back to be grateful for being alive to experience this is important. We start with God and end with God and it’s finding Him in the middle that is the journey and many times it’s uphill. Most times, for me. But I have made a conscious effort to enjoy my kids more and give them a safe, soft place to land at home so they can feel free, comfortable and happy. 🙂
Just a big THANK YOU!!!I need reminders on how blessed I am
We all do, Mary! And not the “100 reasons to be happy” crappy lists online. Posts like THIS help. We should not be guilted into happiness. It should not be shaming into happiness. Or forced gratitude. Just a passing glance, a moment when you feel it. Savor that. It’s not all day, every day. It’s small and big things, not all at once. It’s not pressure. It just is. <3
Oh Becky. I’m so glad you have picked this up on my writing — that it’s not about forcing or shoulding ourselves into any “be happy dance” and long lists of why. Thank you for seeing the trueness of my work.
Blessings,
Lisa
I’m glad I found this site. I’m tired of being shamed into gratitude or forcing myself to be happy about every crumb, every sock, etc. Ha! I do find joy in small things (my daughter literally has put over 100 fruit stickers on our door jamb as she eats!) or toys found in every corner despite cleaning up or dog bones tucked into my decorative pillows. It happens without me making myself be grateful and then sometimes I’m like “seriously? tomato sauce on the doorknob again?” I find myself full of emotions that change from a moment to the next. I actually returned a book unopened to Amazon because the doctor who wrote it claims she is never stressed ever, ever. Well, that in and of itself will stress people out, to have unrealistic expectations that are unhealthy. How can you be grateful for relief when you are never stressed? It’s all little and big and it’s now and then and here and there. Like a breath. <3 Happy Mother's Day!
Yes, yes, and YES. I relate to every word of this. The instinctive, the power of overriding that to say yes, the surprising feeling of holiness at the most ordinary things. And the Nepo quote, which I love.
Lindsey. You came to my heart when I started to reflect on and write this post!!! Feeling both the holiness and the pull to “get going”…holding it all.
Thank you,
Lisa