One Day She Realized
One day she realized that
the person she needed to tend to the most
was her own self.
Even as a mom, a lover, a healer, a friend,
she understood that where she needed to
put her attention – every single day –
was on her own self-care.
So she decided to take charge of
her schedule, time and energy –
and let the world think what it wanted to.
For she knew that by deeply nourishing her own self,
she would teach her children how to do the same,
she would start a
revolution of radical self-honoring
with her soul sisters,
she would embody her power
and ask very clearly for what she needed –
at home, in her relationships, and in her work –
and she would be a powerful source of
healing for this world because of her
radical commitment to
Lisa McCrohan, © 2021
Your Light is Rising
Last year, a coaching client gave me a little painted block with reminder printed on it: “Give yourself the BEST of you, not what’s LEFT of you”
Wow. That little sucker sits on a windowsill in my office. It reminds me — no — it CHALLENGES me to put myself first…even just 10% of the time!
I remember the day I dropped my daughter off at school for the first day of kindergarten. I had all these elaborate plans about what I was going to do now that both children were in school full time. That day, I came back to the house and I laid on the floor and fell asleep for two hours. On. The. Floor!
That’s when I wrote the above poem!
Here’s my story about that! – about realizing the person I needed to tend to the most was my own self.
Now my children are teens. A little while ago, I reflected on those early years of being a parent and how much of myself I gave to them. I was depleted. As I looked at moving into the “parent of teen” years, I told myself that I would give more attention to MY well-being and it would come first more often than it did back when my children were little.
What has that looked like? Well, like today – I got up early and went for a walk as the sun was rising. I took a nap this afternoon because I needed it. I will go to a hot yoga class tomorrow morning before my son’s soccer game – he is totally capable of getting himself ready and making breakfast while I work out.
Clients share with me all the time about “mom guilt.”
Mom guilt is in the water. A billion dollar parenting industry plays on our guilt, keeping us from really shining and thriving.
Most often, the people who are plagued with mom guilt are the people who need to “tend to themselves first” the most.
I suggest to my clients that they NOT trying to get rid of guilt, but instead: bring in AND.
Yes, the power of AND.
“I can feel guilty AND still go to yoga.”
“I can feel guilty AND still know that this is the right thing to do for myself right now.”
“I can feel guilty AND take a break.”
“I can feel guilty AND still go out with my friends tonight.”
“I can feel guilty AND still train for this marathon.”
I STILL feel guilty for tending to myself sometimes. But I don’t judge it. I don’t try to get rid of it. I don’t ask WHY.
That wastes my precious time and energy units.
Instead, I practice AND – allllll the time. I can tell you that it has served me so very well and it hasn’t harmed anyone!
What would it look like this holiday season to practice radical self-love and honoring?
Maybe we wouldn’t hustle and bustle so much this holiday season. Maybe how the house looks is “good enough.” Maybe you buy your favorite holiday tea and give yourself a moment in the middle of the day to brew it and drink it while you do something that delights your heart. Maybe you do something just for YOU.
Last week, I shared the poem, One Day She Realized, in the opening of episode 31. How to Reset Your Boundaries – especially before the holidays. In that episode, I shared five practices for assessing and protecting your boundaries. One of the practices: “sit before you commit.” I tell clients all the time that when someone asks something of them, they pause, they say, “Let me sit with that and I’ll get back to you” – instead of responding quickly with “YES” because they want to please the other person or they want to be liked. SIT before you COMMIT.
If you haven’t already, I encourage you to check out that episode.
In the next few weeks, over the holiday season, I am going to be sharing some special episodes with you that are all about nourishing YOU – your nervous system, your body, your mind, and your soul. From practicing “noticing the good” and choosing to give yourself a gift of a much needed experience…to learning how to work with the messes in your life and doing things just because they delight YOUR HEART.
I hope you will tune in for this nourishing experience. Would you let me know what episodes resonate with you? Feel free to share it with your friends and to leave a review or a rating!
You deserve to be nourished and resourced. Let’s practice some better self-love boundaries together. Let’s give ourselves the some of the BEST of us instead of what’s LEFT of us. Let’s discover what delights our hearts – and give ourselves experiences of lavishing in that.
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Thinking about nourishing you, leaning into your purpose, deepening your confidence and having the space to discern what you need? Grab a free consult with me to see about working together in coaching starting in the new year.