“Go to bed, my Love,” I heard as I awoke to Brian gently nudging me awake, taking the pen out of my hand and helping me up.

I fell asleep making edits to my book.  I get the kiddos in bed and then I’m back writing.  I have no editor, no agent, no staff to guide me.  I’m self-publishing this baby.  Two summers ago, I asked my sister to read a really rough draft – a glimmer of an idea – of the first season of my book. After taking some time (and me watching her) she looked up at me and said, “This is amazing. You need to publish this.”

I realized I couldn’t do it alone.  And for someone who is really great at holding space for others but not so great at being vulnerable and asking for help, it was a great lesson to have the courage to reach out to others.  I asked two friends to read rough drafts.  Their resounding “yes” through tears gave me encouragement to keep going.

Then I thought a big agent was going to “take on” this book.  I waited several months.  I trusted.  I waited.  And then one day after a hike with my family, I finally heard back, “I can’t take this on.  I have a lot on my plate.  Do pursue it, though.  You have amazing things to share.”

We drove home. I shared the email with my family.  The sting of self-doubt flooded me.  The negative self talk could’ve flooded my brain with “See, you’re really not good enough” and “Who did you think you were thinking that they’d actually take you on as a client?!”  and “This’ll never happen.”

But I already knew what I would do – even if I was disappointed…even through the self-doubt and wondering if this was really worth it…even if I had no idea how it was going to happen.

I knew that I would be with all that was arising within me.  I would give it compassion.  I’d give it space.  I’d go to Hawaii (yes, Hawaii) as planned and I’d bring no writings with me.  I would enjoy my family and listen to the island.  I would listen to the ocean and the god within me and around me.

And I knew that god would write through me.  And I would listen.  And I would write when I returned home.

I would not let doubts or comparisons distract me from what I knew to be true: “Lisa, write these prayers.”

The kiddos started back up in school.  I look for little moments to write.  Early in the morning before anyone is awake.  Between sessions with clients.  After the kiddos are in bed.  And yet it’s such a slow, slow process.

“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a start in our hand – and melting like a snowflake.” – Francis Bacon, Sr.

There are many self-doubts. Many “second guessing” myself. Does the world really need to hear my voice?  Is this really going to make a difference?

And yet when any one of us hears a sacred call from within us that brings tears to our eyes and we know that we must honor it, this inner truth guides us.  It sustains us through the waves of doubt, disappointment and disillusionment.  It whispers (and sometimes shouts!):

“Get up, my Love.  It’s time.  Keep going.  I’ve got your back.  You don’t get why this has to happen.  Just trust me.  It has to happen – for you and for this world.”

And so you do the only thing you can do: you listen.

You pick up the pen. You get out the paper. And you write.

You trust.

You surrender to the mystery.

You open to being vulnerable.

You open to others coming into your life and loving you.

Dear One, I know there is a sacred call within you, too.  There is a call to let your light shine, to honor what deeply delights (and somewhat terrifies!) your soul, and to step into the mystery of allowing Spirit to move through you.  You do this for your own deep sense of contentment that comes only from following your truth and also for the healing of our world.

Because, god knows, our world could use a few more soulful people devoted to honoring the sacred call within them.

So if, late at night, you hear god, the beloved, spirit, your inner voice calling to you, respond with, “Here I am. I’m listening.”

And follow it with deep devotion and trust that you will be guided and held.  Just begin it.  And let the Divine — let Love — take it from there!

Yes, our world needs delight passionistas.  Our world needs YOU following what delights your heart.  The deep delights of your heart.  That is embodying the sacred in everyday life.  And our world needs this.

I’d LOVE to hear what is on your heart.  I’d love to hear what delights your heart and how you are devoted to listening to it…and beginning.  Do share with me in the comments or email me!

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