cherry sweetly goodfon

These days, I seem to quickly gloss over the “words” someone says.  Maybe it’s because I feel like words are easy to say.   Thoughtfulness – the kind of that comes from a true offering of self to another — is HARDER.

It’s harder in this busy, multi-tasking world to pause, be totally about the other person, to devote our attention, resources, and energy to truly “being about” the other.

Today, one of my good girlfriends calls, I need your business cards, Lis.  I talk to so many people about you that I just need to have your cards with me!”

She tells me how she talks to folks all the time about the work I do.  She tells me how she tells other people all the time about how Brian and I have been there for her through a rough time and we just “walked beside” her.

I had no idea she was out there spreading the message of inspiring delight, compassion, and connection in our everyday lives here at the Barefoot Barn!

This is the girlfriend who gives her TIME to “being about me.”  She will actually think of me and REMEMBER the day I’m doing something anxiety-provoking and she’ll call me.  She’ll tell me, “Hey, I was thinking about what you said the other day and I have an idea” when she knows I’m wondering about something.   She’ll text me inspiration for something I’ve been wanting to create.

Here she is, offering me her attention and energy.  Here she is, being about my dreams.

I’M used to being the one helping someone with their dream or their relationship.  I’ll put down what I’m doing to be there for the “everyday” dilemmas of our dear ones – and really be present.  And I do it happily with a pure, whole-hearted love.

Many of you personally know Brian and me.  We are “good” at caring for others, being there for our community, and rallying when a dear one needs something.  {Maybe it’s me turning 40 soon, but I’m no longer shy about saying good things about myself (and Bri!).}  Add to that the fact that we both work in service-type of roles, we can get used to being the ones “holding” others.

So when someone shows such devotion?? Such thoughtfulness??

My heart melts.  It humbles me.  My heart opens wider.

Even though “words of affirmation” has been one of my PRIMARY love languages, nowadays I’m conscious of how someone takes the TIME to say or do something.  I’m conscious of the PRESENCE they devote to offering themselves.

As a mom now, I KNOW how PRECIOUS time is.   I know how it is to “give up” that half hour after the kiddos are in bed and before going to sleep yourself when a friend calls and you put down what you are doing and listen.  And you do it with love.

I KNOW how it is to have such little time by yourself and then a neighbor needs you to help them with their flooded basement, pick up their kiddo at the bus stop, or help them put in new bushes.   And you do it with love.

I KNOW how it is to have such little space in your brain to ponder your dreams, and then a friend calls who needs you to listen to them and help them sort out their relationship.  And you do it with love.

I KNOW how it is to have multiple demands on your attention, and then you look into your dear one’s eyes and you know they need just your DEVOTED PRESENCE, so you give it.  And you do it with love.

I think I have discovered a new Love Language:  thoughtfulness.  It can come in the form of any of the love languages:  words, acts of service, quality time, gifts, physical touch.  It’s from a deep place of offering “self” to the “other” with the precious time and resources we have.  It’s when we are truly “about” the other person – no self gain, just pure “I’m about you” kind of love.

Pure devotion.

True “being about” the other.

True presence.

Pure “giving over” of one’s attention and time.

Do you have people in your life who are just “about you”?

~ Friends who will drop what they are doing to really listen and be all about you.

~ Dear ones who go out of their way to show they are sitting with what you recently shared and thinking about you.

~ A sibling who remembers that you might be a bit anxious on Tuesday because you have to give a big talk at work.

~ Your partner who will turn off the TV and devote his attention to you.

These little acts of thoughtfulness, these “little” acts of total presence are big deals.  They rare treasures in our fast-paced culture.

I’m noticing lately how several of our precious friends offer us these gems.  Tonight I realized I need that!  And I am full of gratitude.   It encourages me to open my heart even wider and give more of my true presence to others.

(Here’s a post on the Love Languages)

(Photo credit: – photographer: Cherry Sweetly)

** Thank you for being a part of the Barefoot Barn community – follow what delights your heart and you’ll inspire the world.  I hope these words inspire you to live with more delight, compassion, and connection in your everyday lives.


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